Most of us are trying to raise securely attached kids from a body that was never securely attached to itself, or (I see this so often!), raising kids that have more internal security inside of them than we do.
Years as a child therapist, and a Mom myself, made me realize that so much of what we call parenting struggles, (the reactivity, the resentment, the exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix, the constant questioning and second-guessing), isn't an inherent aspect of modern parenthood, it's a nervous system (of the parent) problem.
My approach: After spending two decades in the mental health field of children and families, I believe becoming securely attached to ourselves is the missing piece in the parenting conversation — and the only real solution to a pattern that's become so normalized in our culture we've stopped being able to see it. When we, the adult, the parent, becomes securely attached to our own selves, then and only then, can we build a secure relationship with our...
